The Paralysis of Choice

I’ve been trying to figure out the headspace I find myself during this COVID-19 quarantine in The United States.

I am, by nature, a happy person. I love looking at the week ahead and thinking about how each day will be an opportunity to complete tasks. Whether paid work or not, I love to make a weekly/daily list of the steps I need to take. I owe this to my dad. If there was ever anyone who organized and made lists, it was Dad. It is not a bad trait to have.

I realized today that this is part of my problem during these months of quarantine. I should truly be grateful for the time I have to do whatever I want without the distractions of paid work, personal errands and volunteer commitments. I can do what I want, when I want — or not. Isn’t this something we all dream of?

I wake up with a completely free day ahead of me. I will at least have to make food for me and my husband (if I’m lucky there will be homemade leftovers). I will feed, love on and walk my pups and check in on family most days. That’s all I have to do. So, why haven’t I written a blog post per day, begun a novel, started painting again, done any renovation projects or cleaned out and organized something besides half of my laundry room?

Last week, I was talking about it with Keith (my husband) and realized that I suffer from a lack of forced incentive, too many things I want or need to do, and an unlimited amount of time to get them done.

The Paradox of Choice – Why More Is Less is a 2004 book by psychologist Barry Schwartz in which he suggests eliminating consumers’ choices to lessen anxiety. I have heard it called a paralysis of choice which resonates better with me. How do you focus and maximize your time to get the things most important to you done?

What do I want to do? First, I want to write then read and the other way around. I am three weeks into self-isolation. I thought I would have read several books by now (not even halfway through The Outsider by Stephen King) and would have a dozen travel blog posts completed and my bedroom closet organized and living room painted — not so much.

Once I finished the assignments I had before the quarantine began, I lost motivation. Thank God I was writing worthy stories (one about a woman who has been working to save street children in Ecuador for 20 years and one about local restaurants and the strategies they’ve employed to do better than survive this shelter-in-place order. I also had photo work I completed before the shutdown and was able to curate and submit those for publication. At least I did some work the past few non-busy weeks.

Thankfully, Keith is working from home so I have a lot of free time. Three weeks in, this is the first freelance/personal/meaningful thing I’ve written. I’ve been thinking about what my readers may want to hear that will encourage them and be a little bright spot in their day. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been online so much just to stay connected. I am mostly an extrovert and love to be around people. That’s one reason I began coworking at a place called Gather . The networking is amazing, the atmosphere motivates me to be head down in work mode and connect with others who want the same thing but are involved in completely different work. It is extremely motivating and fun!

So, here I am, on my own most of the day (the pups are awesome for company) but I don’t feel motivated. Even before I worked at Gather, I would go to coffee shops, restaurants, bookstores and libraries just to get into an environment with minimal distractions that MAKE me focus on my writing. There are too many distractions here.

After reading a little about having too many choices, I decided to limit the expectations I have for every day. Oh, I have an exhaustive list of everything I would like to accomplish during the rest of this stay-at-home time, but I began setting one writing goal and one chore goal for each day. The nice thing? There’s no pressure to get something done every day. But now, I am not staring down an overwhelming amount of self-assigned tasks and somehow that takes the pressure off.

Please understand that I know my situation is an easy one. So many of you are essential workers, teaching your children, caring for a large household, maybe sick with the virus, etc. I am completely aware that many of you are struggling in very tough ways. You are all heroes out there doing what needs to be done.

We’re all allowed to take time to feed our souls, to relax, to spend time with loved ones keeping the social distancing guidelines in mind. Relationships are everything, so don’t neglect your family and friends. Reach out when you can, help someone in need and love the ones around you.

Here’s to brighter and more productive days ahead with our arms around our loved ones and our faces in the sun and out in the wonderful community we miss so much. Stay safe everyone! Virtual hugs…..

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